Merry Christmas!

May your days be merry and bright...

And may all your Christmases be white.

Joy That Will Last

Forgive me for a moment while I count my blessings.  We got some news last night and I'm in a snit about it.  That new found Christmas joy I bragged about in my last post was short-lived.  But the best way I know to get over myself  is to think about all the good things in my life.  So here we go...

1.  I have a wonderful husband and stepdaughter and I get to spend Christmas with them
2.  I have amazing parents and extended family and I get to spend Christmas with them as well
3.  In this economy, my workplace let's me live several thousand miles from the home office
4.  Despite the fact I can't live in the dream home we bought, it is rented by people we trust and who take good care of it
5.  I have fantastic friends
6.  Three snuggly kitties are waiting for me at home
7.  We've gotten to do and see things we wouldn't have if we weren't stuck in the wild, wild west
8.  Since we're military we don't have to worry about Kevin losing his job or health care
9.  I'm able to take lots of time off around the holidays to spend as much time as possible with my family
10. There are a million little things from creature comforts to small acts of kindness that make all of my days special.

Goodness.  I feel much better.  And now, the news we got last night?  It seems silly now. Kevin and the kiddo were arriving today to spend two and a half weeks home with me.  Yesterday over half of Kevin's leave got cancelled (and not because of anything important, just due to some poor management on someone else's part) so they'll be returning much, much earlier than expected.  Now it doesn't seem so bad - I feel silly for being upset.  There are so many people who won't be spending any of the holidays with their loved ones and I had the nerve to complain.  Shame on me!

I've got my head screwed back on right now.  Thanks for letting me work that out.

A Little Christmas, Right This Very Minute

I've been grouchy.  And despite having been surrounded by Christmas lights and music for weeks now, I wasn't feeling the spirit.  In fact, I've been feeling put-upon and overtaxed.  Even visiting the Pageant of Peace at the Ellipse didn't help.  Neither did Christmas baking and fudge-making.

But then, in my normal blog wanderings I came across this post at the Bloggess. I just asked to be added to the list of donors, and although I haven't been matched yet, I already feel Christmas-y. 

This is what I've been missing.  Giving to someone who could use the help.  We're blessed enough to be able to afford Christmas gifts and a Christmas supper and heat and our home.  Now we're lucky enough to be able to give a bit of that to someone else. 

It's making my day. In fact, being given this opportunity to help may be the best gift I get this year.

And then it was December

This time flying thing has GOT to stop

But clearly it must be Christmas time because the Scar put on her festive Christmas hat.

Brushes with Fame

Through a combination of luck and randomness, I’ve had the opportunity to meet and be around people I really have no business being around. I’ve performed for Admirals and presidential family members; I’ve been to parties and shared cocktails with (at the time) the Secretary of Defense, Vice President, and president of the World Bank; discussed politics with members of the J5 and the commander of NORAD (and exchanged recipes with his wife); I’ve met Watson of Watson and Crick fame and Richard Dawkins. And despite my natural tendency towards social awkwardness, I managed to act with relative dignity in all of these situations.


But I am totally geeked out over my latest interaction.

We were listening to a Science…sort of podcast in the car. It was an old one and one of the topics was sympatric speciation. Kevin, not being familiar with the concept, misheard the word “sympatric” and asked me why they kept referring to “St. Patrick”. So of course, I tweet about it. When I finally stopped laughing, that is.

And then it happened…

Science…sort of retweeted it. And responded. And now they follow me on Twitter!

ZOMG!

How Not to Train For a 5K (con't)

Step 7: On a whim decide to buy ice for a party, convienently forget that ice melts into water and that the floor in front of the ice machine will be wet, slip with all weight on left foot, wedging foot under machine and torquing at the same time.  Have ankle wrapped and elevate. 

Sprained ankle for the win!

How Not to Train For a 5K

Step 1: Make plans to be away from your air-conditioned gym for the entire summer.

Step 2: Make sure the “away” location is somewhere hotter and more humid than hell.

Step 3: Forget to pack your running shoes

Step 4: Forget to pack running shorts and road ID

Step 5: Forget to ask for running shorts and road ID when requesting running shoes

Step 6: When running shoes arrive via visiting husband, do something to mangle your feet so that you cannot wear them (I recommend breaking in new heels and running into sharp metal things barefoot )


I always did prefer training in the Fall.

Riddled

My stepdaughter and I are a lot alike. This makes parenting her fairly easy for me - or as I call it "big-sistering" her, because she has parents and she also has me - because most of the time I know what she's thinking and her reasoning.

We do differ in one huge way though and that's with how we deal with stress and anxiety. Now, I'm an anxious person. I worry for fun. I worry about things I have no control over and can't fix or prevent. We carry the maximum amount of insurance on everything we can because sometimes that's the only way I can sleep at night. I've made myself so sick with worry and anxiety that I've been hospitalized for the physical symptoms (hello mystery internal bleeding) - granted that was an extreme situation. My point here, is that I am not a laid-back person and I'm not one to talk when it comes to not letting things get to you.

However, the one thing I've never allowed my own anxiety do is prevent me from getting out and doing things. The idea of meeting new people may scare me a bit, but I love doing it. It sometimes makes me nervous to host a party, but I have people over as often as possible. I have always fought through the nerves to actually do the things I want to do. In fact, when I was hospitalized it was with me fighting it the whole time, I didn't want to waste time there.

My stepdaughter is a worrier too. I swear to you I haven't taught her this - she came to me this way. And honestly, I keep my worry to myself, she'd probably be surprised to know how I get. But here's the problem - she's letting it get in the way of life and of things she wants to do. And I don't know how to deal with it (except consult with her therapist). In fact our latest round with it was so frustrating that I'm at my wits end.

We're home in DC visiting for the summer, as you know. My stepdaughter's "boyfriend" lives in Richmond and we arranged to take her down there to spend the day with him. The plan was to drop her off with him and some friends and then we'd continue on to Williamsburg where we were meeting some friends. We took time off work, scheduled everything etc, etc.

The night before, she started getting uptight. My mom tried to talk her through it, remind her that this was fun, to take deep breaths, that she just had to get through the nerves and then she'd be fine. My stepdaughter either couldn't take that advice or wouldn't. She was up when we got home from dinner with friends and working herself into a frenzy. We sent her to bed, told her she was being silly and to ignore it, nothing bad was going to happen.

The next morning, she had herself so worked up about it that she simply refused to go (after making us wait for her to be ready and work through it for 2 hours). We ended up cancelling the whole trip and our plans with friends because she didn't want to go. She called her "boyfriend" and told him she was sick. We had a long discussion with her about how she was going to miss out on life if this kept happening, but it hasn't made a difference.

The next day she started telling people that she had been sick. That she had a cold and she was afraid she'd passed it on to people. Trust me, she isn't sick. She wasn't sick. She's making up some sort of excuse in her own head for what happened so that she can deal with it, I think. Or she thinks me hearing her say these things will convince me that she was really sick. I'm not sure.

Unfortunately, this isn't the only time this has happened. She did the exact same thing the last time she was supposed to go to Richmond. And again before we were getting on a plane to go to the beach. She does it in little ways more often than not when she's getting ready to leave the house.

I'm truly afraid that we're seeing the beginning of agoraphobia. And unfortunately, she's a bit of drama queen and she likes the dramatics that comes with the situation. I don't want to feed into it and I don't want to ignore it.

Worse than that, I have little to no patience or sympathy for this whole thing. I know how awful that makes me. I know intelligently that she probably can't control it, but at the same time I can't understand why she's letting this hold her back. It just seems so simple to me to just go ahead and do whatever the thing that we made plans for is rather than call a halt to it (and that's the key - its simple to me, but not to her). And it's not fair to her and it's not what she needs, but I can't help that right now.

I Miss My Husband

I miss Kevin.  I'm homesick for him.  I'm sorry, probably too much info, but its just about all I can think about. 

I have this thing, when I walk by him, I reach out and tickle his belly.  I didn't realize how much I did it until the physical memory kicked in and I realized I was missing it.  And then, I had to stop myself from doing it to the guys in the show.  I mean that would just be weird.  Made worse by the well-known fact that I don't like touching people. 

I miss him, I hate being this far away all the time.  I'm tired of deciding between him and home.  But ,at least, it is a choice I can make and he's stationed somewhere I can be with him. 

And, thankfully, in just a few more day's he'll be here for a week's visit. 

Slowest few days ever...

Theatre Geek

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."{Walter Elias Disney}



For the past two weeks I’ve been home, doing something I love – assistant stage managing a community theatre production of RENT. Every theatre geek has “their” show and RENT is mine – I came across it at just the right time in my life when I thought the life described on stage would be my future. A good rendition of “La Vie Boheme” still makes me want to quit my day job, move to NYC, and become an artiste. So when I found out this show was coming to one of my favorite theatre groups, I couldn’t not do it, and I’ve been so thankful to be there.

But.

Oh but, the exhaustion that comes with Tech week. The long nights, the focus on details, the desire to beat actors…oh I am so ready for this to be over that I’m actually counting down hours. I’ve promised myself that I can sleep until I’m done tomorrow and then spend the rest of the day in the pool. After that, I might be human again and heck, the cast might even start to like me again…that would be nice.

Blame It on My Big City Upbringing

So as it turns out, the reason the stepkiddo had to be remeasured was because one of the other mom’s has offered to buy all the dresses for the choir. She has two stipulations – one is that she measures them all and the other is that she pick the dress.

And I have to tell you, while I recognize the generosity of the offer and I can see why the chorus teacher agreed to it, I’m a bit perturbed by it. It just doesn’t seem right to me that someone gets to come in and throw money at a situation they want to control. I mean, in this case it’s because the mom wants a more conservative dress and that dress was more expensive (and I don’t even know how she knew what it would be, we weren’t in the loop at all on it), but what if we didn’t want that and decided just to throw more money at it. Who would win then? And does this mean that whenever she doesn’t agree with what’s going on she’s going to offer to pay for something? Or that she’s going to demand things be her way just because she paid for the dresses.

I’m probably not being fair. I’m sure it’s just a kind gesture from someone who is trying to balance her daughter’s extracurricular activities with their value system. And I respect and admire that. And I can see where paying for all the dresses is her way of making up for picking a more expensive dress and pick all.

Still something about this whole thing just rubs me the wrong way. Boy can I look a gift-horse in the mouth.


As a post-script: Kevin was kind enough to understand that my work load did not allow for that number of errands today, so he took care of the running around. So his afternoon schedule went like this: home for lunch, take the kid back to work, run out to a going away party, run kid to school, wait at school, bring kid home, relax briefly, take kid to hair appt, come home, pick kid up. …he’s a good man, that one.

Divide by Three and Carry the Carpool Lane

I rely, perhaps a bit too much, on scheduling, organization, and planning. I don’t do well when plans change at the last minute, I don’t like changes in my schedule, and I’ve never quite learned to plan for the unexpected (I hear you laughing over there, Air Force).


It should also be mentioned that due to my constant travel/work schedule we have one car here in the wild west and one car back in DC. My tight rein on our schedules makes this work, but throw in an almost-driving teenager and this option is becoming less and less feasible.

Now add in the fact that said teenager processes about 30% of what is said to her and parses out what little information she does process on a need-to-know basis and we end up with days like today where her father, the car, and I are trying to figure out how to be in three places at once while missing as little work time as possible. These negotiations lead to emails with complex time and distance formulations and calculating for variables such as phone call duration, meeting schedules, and wind shear.

Today, it looks like I’ve drawn the short stick so I’ve gone from an afternoon of quietly working to taking part of my lunch break to take Kevin back to work after his lunch break so that I can keep the car, taking the rest of my lunch break 2 hours later when I run the kiddo up to the school to be measured for a new choir dress by the choir mom (something I did just a week ago, but nevermind that), running back home to wrap up work for 30 minutes, driving downtown and dropping the kiddo at an hair appointment, turning around to pick up Kevin from work, and then running back to pick up from the hair appointment.

How on earth do people to this with more than one kid? I think Kevin’s going to have to start biking to work…or hitchhiking…that could work too.

If My Blog Template Were a Room, I'd Never Want to Leave It!

Isn't my blog pretty? 

No really, isn't it just really, really pretty?  I love it.  Honestly, I want to decorate my house like my blog.  In fact, I think I'll get going on that. 

Alas, I cannot take credit for the pretty here - its all thanks to Penny Lane Designs.  In fact, this is one of her predesigned templates.  Can you believe it?  You should go check her it out, gorgeous stuff over there!

And to top it off, Marina is easy to work with, quick to deliver, accomodating, and very sweet!  What more could you want in a blog designer? 

So get yourself over there and start redecorating!  Go, go, go!

I've Always Wanted to Say that I Fried the Motherboard

....and now I can!  The old lappy crashed and burned and was out of commision for about a week.  Thank goodness for warranties and helpful IT people.  I'm now back up and running...

And of course, way behind on work and everything else.

But the nice thing about having a blog that no one reads?  No one notices when you take unplanned leave!

My Favorite Things Monday

Last week was just a little nutty around here. And it just flew by! Suddenly it was Friday again - thank goodness, I love Friday!

Anyway, keeping with my little bloggy tradition, I'm posting another of my favorite things. These gorgeous blue glass candle holders.

 

I took this picture directly from Pier1's website because I can't be bothered to find my camera and the one off my blackberry just isn't doing them justice.

I love blue glass.  Love, love, love it.  Its that just-right tone of aqua that makes my heart swoon every time I look at them.  Until recently, things like these candle holders fell strictly under the category of "I love that but its not practical", but then I started my campaign that little things make a house a home and those babies were mine!  I even paid full price for them (unheardof).  I think they're on clearance now, but I have no regrets.


In fact, I've been stalking some blue glass mason jars on ebay...maybe they'll show up here one Monday.

My Favorite Things

One of the things that has been hardest for me as a military wife, has been our move away from our family and friends.  I know that I am very lucky in that I've only done one move, that I get to visit home often, and that I can stay with my husband.  I'm fond of saying that "home is where my husband is" and I believe that with all my heart.  But I still get homesick quite a bit.

To remedy that I'm going to start focusing on the little things that I love here.  They may be an activity, a place, or the little things in our house that make it home.  I think that its important to focus on the good instead of the bad and its high-time I start doing it.  So once a week, I"ll post one of my favorite things.  I hope that some day others will want to join me and I can add a Mr Linky to these posts.

So in honor of that, here is one of my favorite things...picnicking in the spring....

Oh hiiiiii

Hi there....oops....I guess it doesn't count when I just think of posts in my head but don't actually write or publish them....will have to fix that.

Per the Planner

One of my favorite things about a new year is getting a new planner. When I was still in school I would actually get a new one both in August and December. I don’t have that excuse currently, but I do start hunting down my planner for the new year in October. Before I start Christmas shopping even.

This year, I’m using the MyAgenda by MomAgenda. I lurv it. I did not lurv the shipping price or 8 days from shipping date wait for it appear at my door. But the amount I lurv it overcomes all that. True lurv conquers all.

The MyAgenda is set up with the week spread over two pages and 5 rows. It also has monthly views, includes a “My Essentials” for key addresses, phone numbers, important dates etc, and is set up for you to start writing in events for next year. But, for now I’m focusing on the weekly view and my 5 blocks…

The top row is labeled my week and has space for appointments, the other 4 blocks are blank to be broken up as desired. One of the reasons I love it is because of this – I can change the planner as life changes. For now, my 4 blanks are work, the side business, to do (for personal and home life) and exercise.

But you know what, y’all? Do you know what my exercise block says for today? It says “C25k, Week 5, Day 1”. Guys, I haven’t run since December 14th. That’s just over a solid month of not running. And I’m down right scared. I’m so scared, that I’ve been putting off my triumphant return to the treadmill off for a solid week now. You know, because if I just ignore it, it’ll go away or get better, right?

But, my agenda, my pretty Caribbean Sea blue agenda, with my name in silver embossed on the cover, says that this is what I have to do…who am I to disobey? She’s a harsh taskmaster, y’all, harsh.

Proof of My Insanity

I just lint rolled our duvet cover. And when I was done, I wasn't satisfied, so I did it again.

Future Trophy Wife

A few summers ago I was wandering through a beach shop and came across a trinket I wanted my husband, then fiancé, to buy me. It was a keychain, or drink coozie, or bookmark, or something emblazoned with “Future Trophy Wife”. I knew right then and there that that was my goal and I wanted the pretty thing to remind me of my new mantra.

And I know that sounds sort of pitiful, but it truly is my goal. It’s not that I don’t think I’m an excellent catch. I’m smart, kind, funny, clever, charming, hard-working, a great cook and baker. Some days I even think I’m pretty. Oh, and did I mention modest? I’m definitely modest. But I’m not the type of girl that the average person on the street would give a second glance.

I remember some years ago, at a bar with my cousin and his wife, this drunk guy came stumbling across the room to ask her to dance. She sort of indicated my cousin, who had already intimidated the bouncer to get me in (I may have been slightly underage at the time) and said, “no, but thank you”. The drunk then staggered to my cousin and pulled back his fist. His friends starting yelling at him to stop and my cousin braced to be hit, but instead the guy shook his hand and said, “Man, she’s amazing” and walked away. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have no desire be treated as an object or a possession. But knowing someone had said that about me – well it would certainly cheer me up on days when I was down.

When we first moved to Wyoming, I let my fitness and eating habits slip. I was depressed and lonely and the one thing I could do that made me less homesick was eat the things that reminded me of home. But then I figured out that being lonely and homesick AND out of shape wasn’t any better than just lonely and homesick. So this year, it stops.

I started the couch to 5k training program this fall. I didn’t quite finish it before going home for Christmas, but I did get to the point where I could run for 20 minutes straight (huge milestone for me, by the way). I’m going to get back to it and then make running a 5k a regular part of my routine. I want to then train for a 10k, a 10 miler, and a half marathon. I want to start bike-riding again. And if you read my previous post, you know I’m excited about the veggies and healthy eating. I’m excited and I’m ready. I’m also motivated by a couple of family weddings coming up in the spring. I AM a future trophy wife.

It has occurred to me though, since spotting that little thing that I was probably not the intended audience for it. I can’t imagine that the maker was trying to be inspirational to women who needed a little push into a healthier lifestyle. I actually suspect it was meant for tweens and teenagers to suggest or advertise their future “career”. And that sort of sickens me. I really hope I’m wrong about that. Regardless, I’m still grateful for the inspiration it gave me.

I Suppose It's Best that I'm not a Vegan...

What is it about my parents’ house that makes me forget what a vegetable is? It really makes no sense. At home I manage 5-6 servings a day. Add to that the 3-4 servings of fruit I eat and you might think I was some sort of nutritional goddess.

But when we visit my folks, not so much. We were there for a solid 3 weeks and I averaged mayve 1 serving a fruit a day and half a serving of vegetables. Truly pitiful.
It is so funny to me how such a little thing like that can throw my eating off so completely. It’s not like we’re truly guests and I have say in what groceries get bought and suppers are made. But nonetheless, I am veggie-less.

Maybe it’s just easy to fall into childhood eating habits where food is safe and frequently canned. It works for them, who am I to suggest we sub some spinach for the biscuits? Or maybe, because I’m no at a perfect weight, I’m embarrassed to suggest a healthy change?

Whatever the answer is, my fridge, abundant with fresh produce is the one thing about Wyoming I missed over our holiday break. Bring on the veggies!

Again With the Resolutions...

Like the majority of the population, I cannot resist spending the time between Christmas and New Years re-evaluating and writing resolutions. There’s something so hopeful about a new year just around the corner that makes me feel like I could do just about anything. And you know, if I just complete all my goals, but this time next year, I might just be perfect!

My list of resolutions tends to always look the same – and probably the same as most Americans – you know, lose weight, get in shape, build a nest egg, etc., etc. Not that I haven’t accomplished quite a bit over the years, just that certain things get put on the back burner. That and while I’m quite good at writing out a list of things that I’d like to accomplish, I never bother to really figure out how I’m going to get there.

This year, I’m taking a different approach. For the first time ever, I have a 5 year plan. Based on that plan, I’ve figured out what I want to accomplish by the end of the year. AND (this is really exciting to me) I’ve figured out what I need to do each week to accomplish those goals.

That may sound borderline control freak to you (and who I am kidding, I’m totally a control freak), but it also keeps my goals in the forefront of my mind. It’s also comforting to realize that I’m taking tangible steps to reaching those goals. So at the end of next year, I’ll be able to check everything off, my resolution list and write out new goals for 2011.

So come on 2010! Bring it on – I’m so ready!

A New Start

Welcome to my New Year’s Resolution. Actually, it’s not the creation of the blog that was the resolution, but actually maintaining it. I’ve actually tried this once or twice before and just fizzled out. But since it’s January and I’m Resolved, surely that won’t happen again. Ahem.

I suppose here is where I would talk about myself for a bit. I was born and raised just outside of DC. I think District natives tend to claim to be a part of multiple regions of the US – it truly is a blend there. But I was raised very much Southern. Which means I can scare up a mean bunch of greens as well as navigate the metro.

I married my own prince charming in early 2008 and am now a proud USAF wife. Just after we were married, my husband was transferred (PCS’ed for you other military people out there) from DC to Wyoming. To say it was complete culture shock for me would be an understatement. It has been quite the adventure though and an experience I never thought I’d have. Maybe someday I’ll have nice things to say about it.

I work from home in the same job I had in DC. I’m very, very, very lucky that way. I work in the medical/public health sector. And that’s all I’ll ever say about that because I’d like to continue being very, very, very lucky!

Let’s see, I also have a stepdaughter. She’s a teenager but she’s still pretty awesome.

Our other daughter is a cat named Scarlett. She is a true Southern Belle. She also is an excellent office companion, but she won’t file.

I could go on, but I think this is a fine start.